A Terrible Writer
You are not a good writer.
I have been told that multiple times in my life. Don’t get me wrong; I know how to write a paper to pass a class. But I guess, none of my writings were interesting enough to draw the readers in and keep their attention.
So why do I write?
I think that Toni Morrison said it best:
I wrote my first novel because I wanted to read it.
Maybe, I am not the best writer but I still have stories. Stories that I want to tell, and stories that I want to read.
And if I’m the only person reading it then oh well. No, I am just joking at least one other person.
While I wish that I could say that I always had this bold personality when it comes to writing, I didn’t. I had let other people’s opinions hinder me from writing.
And whereas I can’t remember the first story that I thought of or the first time that I wrote one, I can remember very vividly the first time that someone told me that my story suck.
The Dream Crusher
She was a friend and a high school classmate at the time. She also wrote fanfiction. (For those who don’t know what fan fiction is: It is a story written by a fan and uses characters from a book, movie, or show, which is produced by someone else.) There was a big difference between her and me. She posted her stories online and I kept my stories safely in the pages of my binder.
And I made the mistake of opening up my binder to her.
But how can you blame me? It was hard finding someone who wrote fanfiction in a small town.
The results of that interaction: I wouldn’t write again for years.
Life Happens
Five years later, I decided to write and post one of my fanfiction stories from my binder. I got some good reviews but I could tell that it wasn’t that great. However, I stop.
Life got in the way of my dream.
It would be another 2 and a half years before I would write. And when I did, my beta was there to crush my dream.
The Beta
So, what is a beta?
A beta is another fan who edits your story for free. I know! A free editor. But some betas are great at editing while others are not.
In my case, my beta for my first story that I decided to post was a great editor. But I hated her.
She got in my head.
With her, I didn’t feel like my story was good enough. Furthermore, I started to write to please her. My story was no longer mine.
A long story short: She ghosted me, leaving me with baggage.
Ok, truthfully she had some issues due to a bad storm in her area that damaged her home. Then she ghosted and left me with baggage.
To this day, I have never used a beta again. And, I really do need one. Trust me; I will never argue with someone if they say that my grammar is bad. I know it is.
I can see the mote in other people’s stories but not in mine.
Time to Write Thanks to Covid-19 and Quarantine
Time.
I had too much time on my hands, causing the voice of the story that I had abandoned to speak to me again.
This time around I completed my first fanfiction story.
Over 202,000 words of completion
Congratulation to myself!!!! 🎉🎊🎉
It feels good.
Did my grammar improve? Not at the beginning as my readers kindly pointed out.
Did I tell a better story? Honestly, I don’t know. I have nothing to compare it to.
However, I do know that I completed my first story. It is there for me to read along with another fanfiction that I completed. So, two completed stories!
And it feels good.
Do I have what it takes to become a great published author?
Honestly, I don’t know.
Maybe all of my books will suck, and I will write books that no one wants to read. So what?
Because I didn’t know that I would write two fanfiction stories that people around the world would love to read.
I didn’t know that I would have fans who will eagerly wait for my next story.
I don’t know, and neither will you unless you write and publish your own story.
