Follow me on my journey from FanFiction writer to Published Author
A story starts with one word or letter!
- Instant Gratification: Is It Good Enough?
This past week, I spent my time ducking and dodging my story.
Seriously!
I would open a tab on my web browser, go to ClickUp, which is the platform that I use to write my story, and look at my list of stories.
I would spend 10 seconds looking at the title of the story that I wish to publish. Then, I would read the book description that I wrote. Which in my opinion, sounds very interesting. Then, I would nod, scroll down to my fanfiction stories, and start writing those.
Why?
For two reasons: Instant Gratification and Fear.
Instant Gratification of a Writer
One thing that I like about writing on FanFiction.net is the instant gratification that I receive from my followers.
With each chapter that I write, I am able to get live updates on how many people read that chapter, see who left a review, and even receive messages from my readers.
It is a wonderful feeling to see them!
Because I receive this temporary fulfillment and it gives me the push to write more.
And even though, my readers don’t leave a lot of reviews, the fact that they show up every week makes me :).
However, it is the same instant gratification that prevents me from writing my first novel.
“What happens if no one likes my book?”
“What happens if it is horrible?”
Those questions and many others are the thoughts that swirl though my head. Which lead me to…
Fear of a New Writer
While I like writing and reading my own stories, I want other people to like my stories as well. I really want them to like my book. And I think I would be heartbroken if they didn’t.
Maybe this fear comes from my past when I was a people pleaser.
Or, maybe it stems from the fact that I think that I am not able to write a good book.
Who knows?
What I do know I let fear and instant gratification get in the way of me writing my first novel.
And to be honest, statistically speaking, if I like the story that I’m writing, then there should be at least ten other people in the world who would like my novel.
Goals
So, my goal for the week is to write 5,000 words for my novel. I will let you know how it goes.
- The Diary of a Terrible Writer’s: A Dream Deferred
A Terrible Writer
You are not a good writer.
I have been told that multiple times in my life. Don’t get me wrong; I know how to write a paper to pass a class. But I guess, none of my writings were interesting enough to draw the readers in and keep their attention.
So why do I write?
I think that Toni Morrison said it best:
I wrote my first novel because I wanted to read it.
Maybe, I am not the best writer but I still have stories. Stories that I want to tell, and stories that I want to read.
And if I’m the only person reading it then oh well. No, I am just joking at least one other person.
While I wish that I could say that I always had this bold personality when it comes to writing, I didn’t. I had let other people’s opinions hinder me from writing.
And whereas I can’t remember the first story that I thought of or the first time that I wrote one, I can remember very vividly the first time that someone told me that my story suck.
The Dream Crusher
She was a friend and a high school classmate at the time. She also wrote fanfiction. (For those who don’t know what fan fiction is: It is a story written by a fan and uses characters from a book, movie, or show, which is produced by someone else.) There was a big difference between her and me. She posted her stories online and I kept my stories safely in the pages of my binder.
And I made the mistake of opening up my binder to her.
But how can you blame me? It was hard finding someone who wrote fanfiction in a small town.
The results of that interaction: I wouldn’t write again for years.
Life Happens
Five years later, I decided to write and post one of my fanfiction stories from my binder. I got some good reviews but I could tell that it wasn’t that great. However, I stop.
Life got in the way of my dream.
It would be another 2 and a half years before I would write. And when I did, my beta was there to crush my dream.
The Beta
So, what is a beta?
A beta is another fan who edits your story for free. I know! A free editor. But some betas are great at editing while others are not.
In my case, my beta for my first story that I decided to post was a great editor. But I hated her.
She got in my head.
With her, I didn’t feel like my story was good enough. Furthermore, I started to write to please her. My story was no longer mine.
A long story short: She ghosted me, leaving me with baggage.
Ok, truthfully she had some issues due to a bad storm in her area that damaged her home. Then she ghosted and left me with baggage.
To this day, I have never used a beta again. And, I really do need one. Trust me; I will never argue with someone if they say that my grammar is bad. I know it is.
I can see the mote in other people’s stories but not in mine.
Time to Write Thanks to Covid-19 and Quarantine
Time.
I had too much time on my hands, causing the voice of the story that I had abandoned to speak to me again.
This time around I completed my first fanfiction story.
Over 202,000 words of completion
Congratulation to myself!!!! 🎉🎊🎉
It feels good.
Did my grammar improve? Not at the beginning as my readers kindly pointed out.
Did I tell a better story? Honestly, I don’t know. I have nothing to compare it to.
However, I do know that I completed my first story. It is there for me to read along with another fanfiction that I completed. So, two completed stories!
And it feels good.
Do I have what it takes to become a great published author?
Honestly, I don’t know.
Maybe all of my books will suck, and I will write books that no one wants to read. So what?
Because I didn’t know that I would write two fanfiction stories that people around the world would love to read.
I didn’t know that I would have fans who will eagerly wait for my next story.
I don’t know, and neither will you unless you write and publish your own story.
